Thursday, December 01, 2005

A Few Funny incidents

yeah now as i sit with my eurail pass expired not much to do apart from obviously study (for which my inclination declines day by day) and yeah

Knight in shining armour saves beautiful damsels from ...
this happened today morning as i was leavig the dormitory. As i was walking along the corridor the polish hottie and the spanish chiquitita come running towards me and drag me along to the chiquitita's room. I was not only amazed but my head was spinning with all the possible wicked thoughts (damn this free internet and no admin to check which sites i visit or what i download).
But before i could even realise this gals asked me to kill the spider in the room. Well so this Knight has no fire spitting dragon to slay, ut a teeny weeny spider on the roof.

Swiped it and its web off with a broom in one swipe. and then the other stroke crushed the horrendous spider and this wicked creature met its death.

And all this for me risking my life to save these damsels? What do i get? Nothing, nothing but a thank you.

Magician from the east cons Maverick Magyar
yesterday night while dinner mangu got a pack of cards and was showing some magic tricks. The most amused (or should i say confused) was the hungarian friend Gabor Gyeorfi. After a long time he did figure out the trick ...
Well now that it was my turn, i showed him one of the oldest tricks, one which my dad showed me in 1987 and even then i wasn't amused. But nevertheless i put on the show and one by one i remove a card from the pack and tell him which the next would be. This totally left him dumbstruck, and he was left gazing. Asking me how did i do this, i non chalantly replied i gotta a good memory.

then he shuffled the pack forme, really well and then as he is left awe struck i perform the trick again with fiegned difficulty.

This went on for an hour as he kept questioning me, suspected i had cards in my pocket, suspected fellow indians akshay and mangu for telling me with sign languae. he even memorised the cards himself and came up with a trick to figure out my trick.
This continued for an hour (all the while we 3 indians, czech guy Jo, Eyal the israeli and Ian the canadian were laughing their asses off; only gabor didnt figure the trick, which in itself is really simple)

Finally when gabor did realise this, he tried and repeated this trick in front of Alexandre the French guy, and not only did he fail miserably, (didnt arrage thecards well enoough) but Alex didnt figure out anything, since he doesnt speak enlgish and doesn't know the difference between spades diamonds and clubs (i dout he even knows numbers though)

Though this episode doesn't seem as funny while writing, truthfully this was the day i laughed continously for over a hour, till my belly ached and my face hurt as well

Long Walk in the Dark with the Polish hottie
This happened long long ago, but havent been blogging as i thought that my mother might read it. But now that i am assured that she gave up reading this space some time back and alsso persuaded by other inians to put this in "print" i am writing about this

So it is late in the night (around 1 AM) and i am busy watcing the movie "Guide" in the PC Room (where i spend most of the time in the university)
Then suddenly i realise that the room is empty save me and the Polish Hottie. Now though i have spent reamsand reams describing her on this blog let me do it once more,
She has more oomph than all the MTV India VJ's put together. If she comes to india and does item numbers in hindi movies then i am sure yana gupta would be sitting at home and washing clothes. (it sounds much better in hindi "Ghar par baith ke kapde dhoti rahegi" doesn't it)

Anyways i dont have the guts to approach her and start conversation, so i keep sitting and watchign the movie. Till she takes the first step, and comes close to me and says in broken english "Weela you comma withaa meea to the dor-mee-tory-aa"
I would have jumped at the offer, but trying to play hard to get, i coolly say let me finish off seeing this movie and then i will accompany you. (in reality an hour was remaining, but i couldnt let go of this offer lest some one else might come in and grab the "opportunity"). She just thanks me and says as she really feels scared going back alone in the night.

So after 5 minutes, i simply shut down the media file and annouce, "lets go"
And let me tell you the walk back is 20 minutes and uphill, and the village is almost always deserted after 9, thus at a quarter past one, there was absolutely no one save us and our shadows.

Now i try to start some conversation, saying why i never saw her in any of my classes, etc ... whereas all the while there are voices in my head advising me how to react in this situation

Voice1: you dumb ass, do something, impress her by your great humour, tell her some of your funny stories, .... sieze the initiative, you wont get such golden chances again

Voice2: Dood get real. None of your stories are funny. neither are you. When people laugh its on you and not your jokes.

Voice3: Doesnt matter. Shes Polish (hence dumb) and doesnt even understand english. So there goes your punchline.

All this while, as we walk back shivering in the cold, i manage few mumbled sentences, about me only takign courses in english (and she took only courses in german, hence shes never in my class, ...ufff)

till we come across this small fence. Normally in day time we would walk across it, but she suggests we cross the railing. I am glad, that i will be ale to help her across, and get i nher good books but all to the contrary, she leaps across with the grace of nadia comaneci (the gymnast) and i am struggling across as she laughs on my efforts.

soon as we near the dormitory she lights up a ciggarette (if i havent already mentioned it before, she smokes like a chimney and drinks like a fish and is the life of any party, a real wild party animal)

As she is fumbling in the dark with her lighter, the voices in my head start again
Voice 1: Idiot ask for a ciggie and light it like Humphrey Bogart (in casablanca) and soon the gal will be yours
Voice3: If you do actually think of this stupidity , beware not to cough like a asthmatic.

Finally better judgement did prevail.

And yeah the complete 25 minutes (yes we were slow due to the dark and cold) was completed with a few mumbled words (yeah i do get tongue tied in front of terribbly attracive women) from me and a few words in halting english from her ( i doubt language was the real reason for her speaking less)

ANd yeah ... finally it simply ended like "So much ado about nothing"

( I am writing about this as Bahri who saw me come back with her doesn't believe me, so here lies my version of the story)


"Gattu" Raja said...

Aaah...The bane of a Dixteeno...Never to be able to sieze an opportunity in the fair sex dept...Khair, you tried...Better luck next time...:-))

Anonymous said...

haha...time to change that dormname!

nirav said...

Yaar Dixteenos ki legendary efficiency apne yahoo groups par dikh rahi hai (the high hit rate)